As children get older, it’s not uncommon for parents to ask: “Can my child decide they don’t want to visit the other parent?”
The answer is rarely as simple as yes or no.
In Utah, parenting time is determined by a court order, and parents are generally expected to follow that order. While a child’s preferences may become more important as they mature, a child does not automatically get to decide whether they will participate in parenting time.
Does My Child Get to Choose?
Many parents believe that once a child reaches a certain age, they can decide where they want to live or whether they want to spend time with the other parent. In Utah, there is no specific age at which that happens.
Instead, the court may consider a child’s wishes as one of many factors when determining what arrangement is in the child’s best interests. The older and more mature a child is, the more weight a judge may give to their opinion, but it is never the only factor.
The court’s primary focus remains the same: what arrangement best supports the child’s health, safety, stability, and overall well-being.
What If My Child Simply Refuses to Go?
This can be one of the most challenging situations for parents. Sometimes children refuse parenting time because they feel upset about family changes, struggle with the transition between homes, or simply prefer to stay where they feel most comfortable. Other times, there may be more serious concerns that deserve attention.
Regardless of the reason, it’s important not to assume that a child’s refusal automatically changes the custody order.
Parents should avoid putting the child in the middle of the conflict or asking them to choose between parents. Instead, try to understand why they’re resistant and encourage healthy communication whenever possible.
If your child consistently refuses parenting time, it may be time to speak with an attorney to better understand your legal options and responsibilities.
Can a Parent Get in Trouble for Not Following the Order?
Potentially, yes.
If a parent repeatedly allows parenting time to be denied without making reasonable efforts to comply with the court order, it could create legal issues. Courts generally expect parents to encourage and facilitate the parenting schedule whenever it is appropriate and safe to do so.
At the same time, every situation is unique. If there are legitimate concerns about a child’s safety or well-being, those concerns should be addressed through the proper legal channels rather than by simply ignoring the custody order.
When Should a Custody Order Be Modified?
If a child is older and their needs, schedule, or relationship with a parent have changed significantly, it may be appropriate to seek a modification of the existing custody arrangement.
Rather than relying on informal agreements or allowing parenting time to break down over time, a formal modification can help ensure the custody order reflects the family’s current circumstances.
An attorney can help determine whether your situation may justify requesting a modification and guide you through the legal process.
Every Family Is Different
There is no one-size-fits-all answer when a child doesn’t want to visit the other parent. While a child’s opinions can matter, they do not automatically override a court order.
If you’re facing challenges with parenting time or have questions about your custody arrangement, speaking with an attorney can help you understand your options and find the best path forward for your family.
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